i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
