We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
