She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
