garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
