Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
