Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize