Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
