I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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