I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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