I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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