you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
