I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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