jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She needs sedatives and a leash
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
