It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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