I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
