now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
