I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
