you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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