This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
