do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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