garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
