I wanna passion pit in your ass
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
