Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
