The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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