She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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