i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
As shirtless as possible
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
