So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
