respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
my being single is dangerous.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
