Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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