No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
