she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He uses pillows to masturbate.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
