if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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