do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
