Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
