I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
