I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
