he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
