Just cropdusted the office
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
