I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize