Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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