You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
