Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
