is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
