I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
