I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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