He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
