They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
