I love black thongs
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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