I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
