My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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