TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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