It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
