I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
