awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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