I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
