i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize