member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
